Monday, January 15, 2007 11:55 PM
Went to the gym myself just now after work. Spent just half an hour there cos it was going to close. So i cut down on the cardio and focused on the weights. Somehow i just like driving myself without having anyone else in the car. I don't get a lot of chances driving myself other than after dropping people home. Haven't driven this fast for some time already. It's in these few minutes where everything seems so carefree. Where everything seems to be left behind while i dash forward. Where the speed fills me with adrenaline. I really don't mind this temporary break from life's problems.
The only thing that's stopping me from flooring the accelerator everytime is my life that i treasure and the flashing traffic police lights at the side of the road.
I can't wait to graduate. I don't want to go back to australia. The last 2-3 semesters will for sure be anything but easy.
The debate in jincheng's mind:
I don't want to go back..
Go back, you have to.
Why?
You have a degree to complete and furthermore through all the experiences you'll change to become a better stronger person like you have for the past three years.
But others will change too..
From here i've got nothing to say to myself already. As much as i hate to accept it, it's really a matter of surrendering my life totally to God. I do not know what this final lap will hold but i think God knows. It's so easy for people to come and say, "trust God you'll be alright" The past 3 years has been so unpredictable already with family issues, financial worries, a new environment, academic pressure, deaths, relational problems. Two thirds of this chapter is gone. Now 1.5 more years to go.
We talk about stepping out in faith so much, but when you really do it you feel pain.